ALLTOOFAMILIAR

2010-05-18T19:38:00.003+08:00

out of sudden i feel like blogging. i noe ive been away for too long already. i dunno how or where should i start. but 1st little update about my 21st bdae party. of cos it was a blast one! i enjoyed every moment of it. i dont expect too much people will come to my mini celebration but it turned out to be the awesome bdae party that i ever had. thanx to the close one that helped me alot during the preparation of the bdae party. mwah! next work have been heaven to hell. HAHAHA! everything have change even too the tiny little things. *big sigh*. eventhough theres a big huha at work still i enjoyed every moment of it too. friends that always keep me rocking. oh and dont forget aunty and uncle too. When you are deeply in love, heartbreak can be traumatic. i feel that im going through a period of heartbreak, i noe that i must accept the fact that life goes on and so must i. i must face those feelings of rejection and anger by acknowledging them, dealing with them, and then achieving closure. The most important thing is to get in touch with reality. i wish that these heartbreak will drive through to the road of recovery and make it a lot less bumpy. how i wish behind my smile is a hurting heart sometimes. behind my laugh , im falling apart. look closely at me and you will see the girl i am isn't me. especially you. when i do something great, you will never ever seems to remember but when i do something wrong you will never ever can forget about it. because of you i try to sleep more so that i coudnt feel the pain more. yes i do smile to you but behind this smile you will never understand. never ever. of cos i dont want to admit anymore. its easier to lie, hide the hurt and emptiness to smile instead of cry. im sick and tired of crying for you. i just found it actually takes years to gain my trust to you but its just take a seconds to destroy it.I don't know what I want right now. All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me, and one day, there won't be any more of me left. Everything that ever cause a tear to trickle down my cheeks, I run away and hide from it. But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me. And I don't know what to do. I just know that the pain I felt so long ago, it's hurting ten times more. I'm not saying I have nothing. I'm not saying I'm gone completely. It's just sometimes it's all a bit too much to handle. Sometimes I feel like it's too much. I'm not going to do anything stupid because I know it will get better, it has to right? But for now, just for now, it hurts. its just a random update for me. hate it, leave. TQ.

2010-03-25T19:44:00.006+08:00

LOVE, It is not how much you do, but how much Love you put into the doing that matters. I'm so afraid to forget the feeling of hugging you close to me. How my heart beat when you look into my eyes, and all our memories I hold so dear me. i think it's okay if I'm selfish sometimes right? Because I don't think I'll be able to let you go. When i talk to you on the phone, i know everything is going to be okay and that we will make it, even sometimes we dont disagree with each other. and i believe that what we need to know about loving is no great mystery. We all know what constitutes loving behavior; we need but act upon it, not continually question it. Over-analysis often confuses the issue and in the end brings us no closer to insight. We sometimes become too busy classifying, separating, and examining, to remember that love is easy. It's we who make it complicated bb. and of cos boyf I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out. i also feel that being deeply loved by you gives me strength while loving you deeply gives me courage. i trust that one day we both can take our selfishness out and stop being ego to each other right boyf? i will never regret loving you. lastly, thank you for giving me a chance. ily!

2010-03-23T17:45:00.007+08:00

well. im back again. haha. i noe im always lazy to update my humble bloggie lol. heh. random update will be i start school already. overall i had fun. ( i think so. ttssskkk. ) and work always been fine as usual. alhamdullilah. and boyf the most I can do for him is to be good girl. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. and earlier on he texted me; "thank you for lovin me all my life". i feel so blessed suddenly. heh.
below picture will be the gfs from work. <3's!

2010-03-02T17:40:00.003+08:00

jyeah! tmrw will be the day. woots! im lovin it. hope it will turn just fine. i miss you brat. without you always make me think of a stick of CareFree gum. i chewed. but it didn't work out. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality. so hope with you around make my life even better. im hoping for the best but i dont want to put so much hope. of cos im afraid that you will dissapoint me again and again. and whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories that im afraid that it will be happening twice again. hence, im throwing the bad memories that we had into space like a kite, and i hope it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new us. thank you brat.
just now at work we're shorthanded of one staff. as always we were working our ass off because evryone were so hungry. ate sandwiches for lunch today. *random* i suppose to make a trip to geylang with mama. but she canceled it at very the last minute. i dunno when and where actually im going to get the actual outfit for cousin wedding next week. tsskk. &&& i wish to party tmrw but i dunno. i cant make my mind horr. its raining here in the west. and the weather makes me want to sleep now. i guess i need to wash up now and sleep like a pig. heh. so enjoy ur beautiful tuesday lovelies!

2010-02-28T16:00:00.002+08:00

A hard beginning make a good ending. Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there. and fear not that the life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning. The secret of getting ahead just started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one. the time will come when you believe everything is finished. Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. i want to visualize the things that i want. See it, feel it, believe in it. and now im learning the skill of forgetting. And move on. and fet u should too. =)

on top of that i dont think i had my sufficent rest yet. LOL! next up party like theres no tmrw. 3rd march cant wait. *big smiley face*

2010-02-24T21:16:00.006+08:00

it was plain wednesday for me. thought of partying today but too tired horr.
heh. i end work quite early today and didnt accompany fet till closing. sorry babe. so yeah after work i met mama and the aunties for dinner. at airport as usual. and now i just came back. actually waited/hoping for that someone to call me but i guess he didnt get the chance to borrow any of his frens phone. -____-. so to cheer myself up, i try to cheer somebody else up and make myself happy. becos i think nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy. i better stop worrying about it and see what treasures me that can pluck from my own brand of unhappiness lol. im trying to be a wise person right now okayy. hahaha! all i can say now i miss being a child, before i knew happiness. =)

2010-02-23T18:06:00.003+08:00

busybody people can go and die. telling him about what im doing outside. oh its so not cool when its not true at all! i do have my own mouth and guts to tell him myself.
not like some immature people like you. go away. shoo! im glad that he called me just now. i miss him very the much. i noe sometimes people like me made mistakes. how i wish i could turn back the time. of cos im not hoping so much from him. if he's going to change then that will be great if not i will be continue my life and be happy. follow the flow i guess. becos, seriously after twenty years of thinking, i think its not worth it to cry for a guy u see. heh. but if he do really change for me then i dont mind if he starts to scream at me, call me for a shoot at midnight, keep me waiting for hours as long as what ends up on the screen is perfect. its a lie if i dont love him anymore but as we noe life as to move on. now i just want to think about myself 1st. love myself then i start to think about others. It is strange that the years teach me patience. to you, maybe im a change person now but watever it is i still love you and please do something about us. thank you.

on top of that, work is doing just fine. my weight went up since i work there. ive been muching every single hour okay. hohoho! looking forward to this weekend. going to spent my day with the girls. awesome! 4 days to weekend. hang on there people! =)

2010-02-21T13:25:00.008+08:00

hello lovelies. =)

finally i decided to update my humble blog of mine again.
alot of things have been happening in my life.
no matter good or bad im happy with it right now.
a proper job and im going to start school in april.
a better future that im looking foward to. alhamdullilah with great friends that i have and wonderful family, im staying up strong. thank god im happy now. all i can say now that I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. and with that i learn that living gives you a better understanding of life. I would hope that my characters have become deeper and more rounded personalities.
of cos the basic/simple thing to understand will be love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back. as for me im scare to be in a realtionship.i just dunno why. im happy to be this way and
still i wish to remain this way as long as i can. sorry lovelies if I utter to much of nonsense today but its just randomly what i think and feel. i just wanna share abit of my happiness now to you out there.
have a lovely sunday LOVE! *wink.

2009-08-17T16:50:00.006+08:00

*warning. its just between me and him. just leave if you hate it.

You're the one who broke my heart, you're the reason my world fell apart, you're the one who made me cry, yet I'm still in love with you and I don't know why. A million words would not bring you back, I know because I've tried, neither would a million tears, I know I've cried. Wanting you is hard to forget, loving you is hard to regret, losing you is hard to accept, but even with all the hurt I've felt, letting go is the most painful yet. For a few minutes you made me feel as though I actually meant something to someone. andd sad isn't it? How no matter what you do or say to me. when you come running back. when you need me again. I'll be here. right here waiting for you, I'll take you back. no questions asked. Sad isn't it? So. from now on. when you think of me. just remember that I could've been the best thing you ever had. remember that bb. and bb sometimes, when i imagine you as my perfect guy, i realize i've described a person that i've known forever. bb, please stop asking me why I love you? I love you because you care for me like no one else I know. I love the way I feel in your arms, so safe from dangers in the world. I love your eyes, so hypnotic and mesmerizing, beautiful to gaze into, and yet never revealing everything to me. I can explain every way that I love you because thats in possible. bb see for urself. did i ever hurt you? NO. so please cherish every moment of it bb. dont ever think that every arguments that we had its a reason for us to be not together anymore because i believe that pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there is no way of life and i dont think we will be together by now. and bb, we take good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you got and remember what you had. always forgive but never forgets, learns from the mistakes and never regrets. bb, will wait for you to come back and i noe you will read this one day. love you and will always do.

2009-08-15T09:58:00.003+08:00

very typical typical pose kannnn. heh heh.

its a lie if i dont miss him becos i MISS HIM BADLY.
1 month and yes im gonna plan a wonderful belated birthday surprise for him.
hope he will like it. help me to plan out lovelies.
the last words, everyday at 10pm our nite.
am i going to partaayyyyyy tonight?

2009-08-13T17:55:00.005+08:00

hey lovelies=)
maybe its been too long i didnt update this humble blog of mine.
too busy with something much important than blogging of cos. hah.
recently just came back from my malacca trip.
as usual its was fun and the weather was very hot. super duper hot.
it was stress free bitch while i was there.
i was happy at the point of time but now.
just living is just not enough. one must have sunshine, freedom and flower.
I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the life, relationship and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day. very hard indeed. till i feel like im giving up.
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. and hoping it will go away once again.
sorry for the boring post again. heh.
will upload more picturess soon!

2009-07-16T18:46:00.002+08:00

oh im having fever and flu. hope it will get better tmrw. anywayss, tmrw DnA will turn 1 YEAR AND 2 MONTHS OLD! alhamdullilah. we still going on strong and actually more stronger than any other dayss. heh. that bacen never failed to make me laugh and the best part where i win every boxing game that i played with him. all he can say that im just being lucky. HAHAHA! org da kalah kannn. fyi, i've been employed. thanxx to my dearest fet. i still owe her a dinner the other time. soon okay babe. andddd i miss yuyu already. her work just started last tuesday and now she busy working her ass off lol. heh. text me okayyy babe.

oh and sorry for boring post again.
i hope my brain will work out something interesting
the next time i update okay lovelies. =)

2009-07-13T01:48:00.012+08:00

went to rebel saturday night with bestie and her friendss from topshop.

it was nice knowing all of them. very friendly.
and party at rebel were awesome but verrrryyyyyyy crowded. heh.
pictures below: taken outside rebel and dinner with cousins on friday night.

2009-07-08T10:28:00.002+08:00

finally. yesterday was perfect.
last minute but it turn out to be an awesome date.
i love you baby. sorry for all the misunderstandings
and i hope we could do it again baby.
once more time eh b? HAHAHA.

2009-07-06T09:17:00.006+08:00

hey. back to blogging but just to update the random ones only. hah.
Of late, i have been feeling a little under the weather. I guess its prolly me going cold turkey, from being away from langkawi. That place gives me the ULTIMATE HIGH. No worries just sheer enjoyment. i mean when i was there stress free. everything there is cheap. but life as to go on as ever and i hate the most. with no stable job at the moment, driving was on hold, bills after bills and upcoming holidays with family and friendss this august. shit! lotsa of things need to settle afterall ya. heh. there i go again im totally blank what to update k.
anywayss, i miss my girlss.
(pictures below: from movie date, holland village and fet's birthday celebration.)

2009-06-28T10:53:00.001+08:00

stay tuned for langkawi picturess and fet bdae celebration yaw!

2009-06-27T01:04:00.001+08:00

FUCK YOU FUCKER

2009-06-15T11:48:00.007+08:00

after four days of not having a proper meet up. boyf and i met on saturday and i must say that i enjoyed every moment that i spent with him. that saturday was different and thanks baby for the treat.

and yesterday i spent my lovely sunday with family.
we went vivo and tampines for dinner.

so yeah thats how i spent my weekend with
wonderful people around me yaw! heh.

tmrw im off to LANGKAWI! awesome!
i think i have the smallest luggage among my family members lol.
but i manage to pack everything in.
my flight will be at 3pm tmrw.
and i will not get to see boyf before i go. huhu.
will miss him very the much though.
okay lovelies will be back on sunday. happy holidays!

2009-06-11T22:59:00.002+08:00

sorry too many chances already.
no more chance.
and sorry boy you just need to wait till i can really cool down lol.

2009-06-10T17:43:00.001+08:00

CHEEEEEEEEEEE BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FEELING NOW!

2009-06-09T08:20:00.009+08:00

1stly, TO MY COUSIN,
HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY SHAHZRIL!
and below are some of the overdue pictures.
from 2 days of freedom, baby workplace and vivo.

2009-06-07T19:10:00.003+08:00

Losing someone you love leaves you with a dull, heavy weight in your chest that often, without warning, explodes into lacerating pain. This torment makes me long for a time when life was easier, so i tend to hope that baby will know i want. 1stly, baby sometimes may be sympathetic at 'that time of the month', the general perception that i have or can most women have is that my baby and some other men can't actually understand what me or woman goes through during menstruation, given that they do not experience it. To assume that a girl is having PMS, without being told, is arrogant, unreasonable, invasive, and insulting. so baby was late yesterday and it make me hate him even more LOL. heh. i was sulking all day of yesterday la. right to the tinniest detail that baby try to cheer me up but it didnt work at all. thank god that i have sweet boyf as ever. he still didnt give up but he starting to be more forgiving, LISTEN to what im telling him and understand that it is very important to me even if he think's it is ridiculous. thank you for all this while and i promise to appreciate you even more baby. actually i have more to update from 2 days of freedom, outing with friendss and i need to upload lotsa of picturess. but i think it will be some other time okay. heh.

PS: i cant wait for my 6 days trip to LANGKAWI. 9 more dayss to go. AWESOME!

2009-06-06T11:45:00.001+08:00

will update soon lovelies! =)

2009-05-22T07:48:00.005+08:00

earlier on i accidentally delete the post that i just type out. so selenge the bacen okay me. and yes the past two days i went job hunting with my so called close friend, yuwana. it was fun. ure the best. ily. heh. yesterday also suppose to meet my dearest humaira after one of the interview end but both of her handphone its unavailable at all. so i decided to called up my boy and asked him to accompany me to the next interview that was at 5pm. we had to rushed. we cabbed down to the place and after that again we cabbed down to vivo. wah lepas tuuu kite broke of cos. HAHAHA! but something went wrong as soon as we reached vivo. and i dont wish to elaborate more. we had our dinner 1st before we make a moved to orchard. we reached orchard about 7plus and we dropped by armani exchange in ngee ann city. we purchase a cap and belt for his brother. by then i was tired/exhausted. because i dont have enough sleep the day before plus i was out the whole day of yesterday. penat skali. decided to take a bus ride home and on our way home i bumped into some old friend of mine. it was nice meeting her. and i miss her too. and today i just laze around at home and sleep yaw! hehhehheh. so thats how i spent a whole day of yesterday. have a great weekend lovelies! =)

2009-05-17T12:52:00.008+08:00

HAPPY 1ST YEAR ANNIVERSARY DnA!
ALHAMDULLILAH.
It's gonna be bombastic Love
Everything is gonna be alright
When I'm yours and you are mine
It's gonna be fantastic love
When I wake up everything is still the same
And I LOVE YOU still and forever athir.

boyf fetched me and as usual met the lovelies.
boyf friendss and of cos my bestie.
miss her hell lot!
had dinner first at lucky plaza. then, went to spore flyer to watch the motor cross thingy. it was super awesome. me and bestie were so-gatal all the way went we saw them doing their stunts.
AWESOME NAK MAMPOS! HAH!
(will try to upload the video that boyf took yesterday okayss)

below picture was taken on friday. collect our passport followed by lunch at nana thai. =)

2009-05-15T08:44:00.002+08:00

morning lovelies. =)
its friday. last time use to love friday so much. but now? heh.
will be meeting nana later on to collect our passport.
and i have manicure appointment later too.
actually im so excited about tmrw event that baby will bring me to watch.
i will be going to watch the motor cross thingy with baby and friendss. AWESOME!
since its free i think i want to be there early. so i can see clearer lol. SO KIASU! hahaha!
btw, HAPPY 1ST YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO BESTIE & AFIQ!
LOVE YOU BOTH ALOT!

2009-05-14T18:25:00.001+08:00

OVERDUE PICTURES

BABYYYY

BRATTTT

a day out with the cousins. =)

2009-05-11T11:18:00.004+08:00

THE BOY

i dunno what happen to me today.
as soon as i wake up i give the boy a call.
and i start to call him bodoh, idiot.
scold him for no reason.
i think due to lack of sleep yesterday night as i keep coughing the whole night.
i feel so restless till i feel like chopping off my mouth.
all the way i feel so cranky till i had big argument with the boy just now.
worst when he choose to play stupid game with his friend then talk to me on the phone. baaaaabbbbbbbiiiiiii nye perangai da datang.
but still i dont want to give in. he finally apologized to me.
the real thing is i always complained to him why you not like him why you like him why you not like him?
i always think that my boyf not good enough for me even how much sacrifices that he did to me.
i feel that i deserve more. i dont noe what actually i expect from him.
i dont noe why i always want him to be someone else as i dont realise that my boyf is bloody damn sweet ever.

*he will feed me everytime i eat. (almost everytime. even we went out. im the pemalas gile babi. if im at home my mum will feed me.)
*he smells my armpit. (even my armpit busok bacen punye.)
*he will never say NO to me. (even how tired he can be.)
*he will say sorry to me though he's not in a fault.
*clean my shitss. ( i was having a bad diarrhoea the other time)
*tolerate with all my incessant whinning. (hari2 die kene marah dgn aku.)

*
*
*
*
*
*
*

actually if i want to list every detail that he did to me it will last till tmrw i think. hah! he's just fine for me its just that i dont appreciate him at all. i will take him for granted. when he leave me, then i will start to miss him very the much. i noe im always the chee bye one lol. back to the big argument just now, i decided to hung up the phone and just sleep. but after a while he texted me and he sent me this,

" kau menyambut cintaku dengan mesranya. ku terharu bila kau kata ku milikmu. sesungguhnya aku pun ikhlas merimamu sebagai teman dan kekasih "

heh. so jiwang la. but i smile widely when i read those messages. i make up my mind from now on to appeciate him and love him sincerely.

muhd athir, i feel that just yesterday i know you and im so sorry for the hard time that im giving you. i love for who you are and will never ever compare you with someone else anymore. plus the bising2 also okay. i hope you will feel the same way as how much i feel towards you idiot.

2009-05-09T16:00:00.002+08:00

still here. the venue of the slumber party.

STRANGE. the fever is going bad to worst.

even my voice gone.

baby asked me to take care of myself while he's away.

"baby, i probably will be sent to hospital already

when you reached spore tmrw. hah." *touchwood*

and and and if im okay by tonight i will be going to GALA PREMIUM

of angels and demons. my uncle got the free tickets. on top of that sorry baby didnt tell you earlier because you unreachable at the moment kan.

okay i turn blank now. LOL! i think i need to have enough rest for later. so have a great weekend people! bon voyage baby!

2009-05-06T11:30:00.004+08:00

its been a while i didnt have a proper update.
been busy. heh.
boyf leaving me again. and only get to see him on saturday.
his last words "i promise, sat fetch me in the morning and ily! ily! ily! ....."
seriously eh b, ni LAST ah! if after this, shitsss happen again,
I WILL KILL YOU!
on top of that, im really looking forward to this coming friday night. slumber party. AWESOME!

PS: bestie, please go and update your blog can??? HAHA!
and and, VERY VERY-OH-SO-overdue pictures will upload by tonight.
so dull la this blog w/o picturesss LOL!

2009-04-30T23:50:00.000+08:00

been busy.
will have a proper update soon!

2009-04-28T12:27:00.001+08:00

HAPPY TWENTY!
oh i hope today will be happy day for me.

2009-04-25T13:26:00.002+08:00

my blog so dull. so many pictures to upload but i need my usb cable!
will have a proper update right after i get my usb cable back okay lovelies!

2009-04-23T13:11:00.002+08:00

twen-teen

I am young, that i can't deny. At least amongst those whom i'm close with. I, for one, refuse to accept the fact that people associate naivety with being vernal. The age old saying that goes, "wisdom/maturity comes with age" is just plain bull. How does one really measure age? Numbers, to me, with regards to somone's age is insignificant and primitive. The level of maturity of a person is by far superior as a measure of a person's age. so yeah twenty in 5 dayss time. pfft.

2009-04-19T13:32:00.002+08:00

yesterday i met boyf 1st for dinner. we went to lau pa sat for satay. thanx for the treat baby! as you know my situation right now. heh. he fetched me and we bus-ed down to raffles city. and we decided to walk to lau pa sat. actually its not my idea to walk but its him. because he jarang la want to walk if the place like few bus stop away. pemalas la ni bacen! but yesterday he decided to walk to lau pa sat. haha! along the way we snap few picturess but i cant upload it now as my usb cable still at my previous work. shittooos laaaa! and actually i want to elaborate more about things that happen after the dinner but too little time because im getting ready and off to JB now. so next time maybe. btw, enjoy your beautiful sunday people!

2009-04-18T11:15:00.002+08:00

Did you regret, Ever standing by my side, Did you forget
What we were feeling inside, Now I'm left, To forget, About us
So now I guess, This is where we have to stand, Did you regret, Ever holding my hand, Never again, Please don't forget
We had it all, We were just about to fall, Even more in love, Than we were before, I won't forget, About us
But somewhere we went wrong, We were once so strong, Our love is like a song, You can't forget it at all.
CHANGED.

2009-04-17T10:44:00.002+08:00

finally that boyf bring me to eat ice cream yesterday. niceeeeeee!
weekends are here.
i hope JB trip this sunday will still be going as planned.
i need to get my toiletries. there cheaper. heh.
suddenly i feel that i miss my girlss so much.
lets meet up la kawan-kawan.
maaaaalllllaaaaassssssnye nak update lagi. haha!
will have a very proper update soon okay.
have a great weekend people!

2009-04-16T01:07:00.004+08:00

went to renew my passport earlier on.
had lunch with nana and the two mama's at arab street.
went to granny place after that. at 10pm had supper with the family at bukit gombak.
before this was on the phone with my brat. today is different. banyak bende kite bual2 LOL! i think its been a long time since we had our good plus serious conversation kan b? well, love you still. actually kannnnnnnnnn im super lazy to elaborate laaaa. but more update at twitter. heh.
btw, 12 more daysss!

2009-04-12T09:30:00.006+08:00

sometimes i wonder what is the definition of a big sister?
watched fast and furious 4 with boyf yesterday. overall the movie was AWESOME!
thot of meeting his friendss but they canceled the plan.
instead we had our supper nearby. thank you giler!
babe, we love to argue dont we?

PS: 25 episodes DONE! Joon Pyo, i love you.

2009-04-10T09:06:00.005+08:00

The only feasible solution is if i became less sensitive(:
result: I'd like to think that i'm the better half, thus NOT the reason why some(r'ship) failed. brace yourslf because i'll be brutally honest. Firstly i think she is a total bitch. What were you thinking?! No wait, you weren't. I choose to believe that it is the familiarity of the relationship that keeps you going. How can you put up with knowledge that she has been cheating on you? I knew you were a bit swishy(verging on being homosexual) but i just assumed you were naturally "soft". Have you no balls? Idiot. So you've left her. You know, i sometimes wonder if a gf is just a decoy. You're afraid of everybody knowing the "truth"..

PS: im having sleeping disorder. just came back at 4am just now and now it sonly 9am.
and i cant sleep anymore! shitoos!
and currently watching korean drama. boys before flowers. im lovin it okay! half more to go. thanx ana!

2009-04-09T13:14:00.006+08:00

yesterday had dinner first with boyf.
met him after work and asked him a random question while we were in a cab.
ME: babe, you see my face. do you see any differences tak?
BOYF: hmmmmm. oh yess! new eye shadow color ah kan?
oh well he got it right. less than 5 minutes he can spot the differences.
you see babe sometimes you damn bloody fucking sweeeettt lol!

PS: there's lots of picturess to upload but my usb cable, i left it at work la.
-_________-

2009-04-08T12:07:00.002+08:00

a sudden rude shock for me.
im no longer with ICON.
i mean i've quit and i just got the news just now that ICON have terminated all the staffs and left with 3 staffs left.
i feel sorry for them.

2009-04-07T18:50:00.003+08:00

BITCH
im taking things for granted.
Everything seems soo mundane these days.
it sucks okay!
im trying to take one step at a time.
parents have been much understanding these few days and thank god for that.
and boyf, I never would have imagined that this is all that is left of such a beautiful relationship. Trust and respect was the very essence of our bond. our bond is too strong that sometimes i feel that i would never do such a mistake again. You were like my personal diary, despite words unspoken, you knew. You knew every little thing there is to know about me and about everything thats going on with me. but, i dissapoint you. i can see from your face expression that you really feel hurt and try to take as it never had happen. im sorry bu.
i need real break and holiday soon.
1st year bu?

2009-04-06T02:17:00.002+08:00

will be having a proper update soon people.

2009-04-04T15:55:00.001+08:00

im on cloud nine bebeh!
i miss MR BOTAK!

2009-04-03T16:11:00.000+08:00

will be back soon lovelies=)

2009-03-27T11:11:00.005+08:00

It's so rare to find a person like you

Somehow when you're the sky is always blue
The way we talk The things you say
The way you make it all okay
And how you know
All of my jokes
But you laugh anyway
If I could wish for one thing
I take the smile that you bring
Wherever you go in this world I'll come along
Together we dream the same dream
Forever I'm here for you, you're here for me
ANDD ure back tmrw bacen!!!

PS: i dunno whether i able to fetch you tmrw. im still weak. cmon fever go away...

2009-03-25T13:30:00.006+08:00

PLEASE KEEP IT IN MIND THAT I DONT NEED YOU TO JUGDE ME!
was trying to move on after you hanged up the phone on me.
but 15 missed called and 8 messages.
andd sunddenly ure right infront of my house.
im so touched and speechless when i saw you standing there.
now i know how much i mean to you. i hope we will be happy again. once more.
see you on saturday b.

to you: i know how much you have changed for me. i mean from last time to now. i feel so blessed to have you. although sometimes i told you that i was no longer in love with you but you will always know that i dont mean it at all and inside my heart ure always the one. i know you try to make this things work and try to be as sweet as ever. but what you just did to me just now was the sweetest thing ever that you done for me so far b.
thank you so much.
and i will never regret. ly!

to bestie: thanx for the sweet post you got there
and i will try not to disppoint you again.lyalso!

PS: im having high fever and it sucks alot.

2009-03-24T10:51:00.004+08:00

saturday met up with boyf. had our so called lunch at banquet 1st. then trained down to orchard. suppose to catch "coming soon" at cineleisure but no more seats available and we decided to watch at the cathay. its almost selling very fast and we got the front seats LOL. while waiting for the movie to start we snap some picturess with ugly background. haha! after the movie we went to orchard again to meet his friendss and had our dinner also. pictures below.

kpo braaattt la you!

HAHAHA! UR eyes gone~~

background sungguh tak hot okay! heh.

lawa ah hidong macam tuu. LOL!

on sunday i spent my time with the family. we went to hosp,orchard,parkway parade then had our dinner at kembangan and lastly marina barrage. awesome!

i thought yesterday was finally over.

the memorable 10 months.

as soon as i cabbed back home yesterday i thought of giving him a break.

although i feel that i need him almost everyday. i try to be strong.

i was very tired to just spent 5 minutes to text him that im home.

i skipped that and just washed up and went to sleep.

i woke up at four am and i received 5 text msges from him.

for the 1st time i feel that im also one of the most important in his life.

he's SORRY. to you, im trying...

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. so i guess this is my sayss and if you hate it, leave.

2009-03-23T01:21:00.003+08:00

Time Check: 1.23am
i need to wake up at 6.30 am later for work andd still im not sleeping. heh.
the spoilt brat must be sleeping like a pig now. pfft.
What's important is that finally I didn't feel like there was something wrong with me. All those years of feeling (oh-only-god-know-what-im-feeling-right-now) had washed away. I was happy in the past. I was accepted. I had no reason to doubt myself, to question who I was, to wonder, to second-guess every action. Because here was someone who seemed to say "no, you're right. It's not you who's always wrong."
I wonder some nights whether I'll be happy again. I can't help but think that I won't, that it was a fluke, and that I screwed it up. Broken hearts like phantom limbs, pain that is intangible. I'll try to relearn how to be independent.
this is just a random post andd my saysss.

PS: will update more about the weekendss later on. =)

2009-03-20T11:28:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY NANA!
I LOVE YOU!

2009-03-19T19:00:00.018+08:00

above picture was taken on 17/03/2009. we spent our lovely day at town followed by dinner at pizza hut. thanx bacen.

*KL picturess. i just upload the random one only. all i can say that the hotel were AWESOME anddd its all about eating good food while i was there. heh.

2009-03-18T10:14:00.006+08:00

AWESOME trip.

will upload the picturess soon.

PS: yesterday i had fun too. thanx MABME!

and btw we manage to fix it.

he pulled her close and whispered in her ear, are you aware of just how much you mean to me? and she whispered back, it can't than what you mean to me, because that's everything. =)

2009-03-14T01:49:00.002+08:00

1 more hour to go and im off to msia.
boyf, i dunno whether i able to see you on tuesday. i will pray for you.
watever it is i loveee youuu so much and please take care of urself okay.
u noe i noe k b....

2009-03-13T11:04:00.009+08:00

im so pissed off.yesterday after work decided to go to Plaza Singapura to get my hp done.but when i was about to leave, the spoilt brat boyf called.Finally he's awake from his lonnnngggg beauty sleep.I dont mind going there alone but he insisted to accompany me.so ya i took my own sweet time because i know he will be late.annnndddd he was not late but i was.i was so happy that he waited for me. jarang okay ni budak satu nak tunggu2 orang. heh.we had our dinner 1st at far east plaza and we walked down to wisma to get nana leggings.while i was walking towards wisma i bumped into some people. and one of them was my school mate. haida hanim! oh yeah i miss her so much! i hugged her and finally i saw her daughter. sooooo cuteeee and fairrrr! after i done with nana leggings we went to plaza singapura to get my hp done. went to choose the design and boyf insisted to pay for me. oh thank you my lovely boyf. extra cassshh for KL trip la niii. heh. so the sales person told us to come back half an hour later. after half an hour later, i went to get my phone and asked boyf to switch it on back for me. When boyf about to press my pin code number, it cant be press at all. i was so damn pissed off and we went back to the shop and asked them what happen. fyi, my phone is a touch screen phone and they told me there's something wrong with the LCD screen and bla bla bla. wth kan! boyf looked at my face and he knows that im so pissed off. he knows that i will start to make a scene if im really pissed off with something. so to restrain me from being nasty to them he helped me to talk to the the sales person. boyf insisted them to pay for the service charge and all. so they agreed and give their number to us. we left the shop and on the way back home i was quiet and dont bother to answer any phone calls or speak to my boyf. kesian diee. sorry okay b. u tahu kan perangai i. so people i will be not reachable for this few dayss okay. enjoysss your weekend!

PS:im not being smart or paranoid at the same time i think i have the right. Only i can answer if i can trust him again or not. hence, i try answer this question to myself. Was he always good to me?, Could i trust him from the beginning?, am i willing to give him all you got and wonder everyday am i being bambozzled? Do he deserve me after all of what i have done for him or vice versa? Do i have the tolerance to trust him and give him one more chance? so yeah shitss happen. i hope we can pulled through once more.

2009-03-12T15:08:00.004+08:00

i was late again to work just now.

i reached about 10.30 in the morning.

haha! my mum was like "u ingat tu company u nye papa punye ehh?!"

all i can say i maaaallllaaaaasssssssssss okay!

after which i have my spoilt brat boyf that turns me into orang gile just now.

seriously if i have a knife with me just now i will stabbed him to death! *evil laughss*

watever it is i still have my family and girlfriendssss to keep me rocking!

andddddddd KL baby! i very semangat one you noe.

i make a verryy long list already of what to bring for my trip .

heh. i cant wait lol because i need to be away and take a goodie goodie break.

time check: 4.30pm.

so yeah half an hour to go.

yayness! i will be going to Plaza Singapura later on. to get my hp done.

so everyone happy groovy thursday! all the bessssttt! LOL!

da merepek ah ni aku. -______-

PS: and im so ketinggalan zaman la baru nak buat facebook. actually for the sake of the gamess jee. HAHA! but if you lovelies have facebook do add me okay! *muackss

2009-03-11T09:16:00.004+08:00

recently i have become so possessive it feels my life has put on hold. When im not with him, i will complained if he dont text me back within a certain amount of time and he meant to be going away for one night with friends and I told him for being selfish as i doesnt want him to go as i thinks he will forget about me. he have never cheated or done anything to make i think he cant be trusted. What should i do, i love him but this is getting too much to handle.

YOU SEE IM A BAD GIRLFRIEND AFTERALL!

IM TOTALLY A BITCH.

HELP?

PS: thanx fet. i know you will be there for me. and fee please accept my friend request LOL!

and shout out to my fanalinajolie i love you baby! KL babe!

2009-03-10T09:24:00.003+08:00

i cant concentrate plus insomnia, loss of appetite, anhedonia, feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness. the way i eat and sleep, the way i feel about myself, and the way i think about things all changed. i know there will be good times and bad times. i think im less important in your life. i use to feel lucky. but its saddening how it dissipates as quickly as it came. i give up. so long....

PS: Im going again for a short getaway to KL this saturday. yeah i need a break. =(

2009-03-09T11:04:00.007+08:00

Saturday was just lovely having fun with the family. we went to T3 and parkway parade for our shopping spree. AWESOME!

MAYA QISTINA!

my lovely sisters. i love them both!

then on sunday went to meet boyf. An afternoon in town followed by dinner at nana thai. had a lovely evening afterwards. because my dear boyf brought me to henderson waves. it was my 1st time visit there. i noe i noe. im so the slow kan. baru nak pegi tempat tuu. k watever la. heh. butbutbut the part where i hate the most was that we must climbed all the way up la. by the time we reached there i was so totally no mood mode. penat sey! bacen boy lagi boleh buat kelakar ni when i alwayss complained to him "penat la bile nak sampai ni!". geram lol! so that explains why the ugly picturess i got there below. hahaha!

boyf forced me to take this picture at this particular open space. im so super lazy at that point of time. what a fake smile i got there. heh. heh.

i dunno what he's trying to do lol.

2009-03-07T13:02:00.003+08:00

..THE ONE..
"even if its been a roller coaster ride, just remember the wordss okay bu."

2009-03-06T10:23:00.006+08:00

"bacen boy."

morning lovelies=)

its friday! finally. heh.

as you can see my background its pink.

HAHA! i dunno why but it seems that im starting to love pink.

even my new handphone is pink in color. heh.

BUT still i love red.

i miss the girlss. how i wish i could meet them once every week.

im having a hard time with my bacen boy.

but whatever it is that has happened we're still here, together and stronger than ever.

2009-03-05T11:19:00.000+08:00

i will be away.

be back soon.

2009-03-02T08:36:00.004+08:00

HOLLA!=)
friday after work went for my company bowling session.
the venue was at west coast recreation centre.
overall i had fun!
saturday morning met boyf after his RT and we had our so call brunch.
after brunch, boyf went to get changed and we went to marina square.
thought of watching a movie but ending up we just browse around the shopping center LOL!~~
i dunno why that saturday i have no mood and i feel so tired/shagged.
so i decided to went home and boyf went to meet his friendss.
and sunday i went to my so-not-close-relatives wedding at woodlands.
after the wedding, went home to get changed and we went for a nice dinner.
nenek been wanting to eat seafood. so we bring her to restaurant kampong chai chee. (i wonder if the place name right lol)
lastly we had desserts at island creamery!
okay cool.
bowling pictures below.

i just upload the random one only.

2009-02-27T10:17:00.004+08:00

sorry for not been having a proper update.
been busy lately and DnA in a undescribable situation.
but we've pulled through.
earlier on boyf texted me

BOYF: maybe i kene charge. tapi only $30 fine.

ME: untk ape eh?

BOYF: failure to comply order. (ni part really merepek okay!)

ME: u nye keje mmg S to the I to the A to the L.

few minutes later he replied~~

BOYF: give me a Y."Y!" give me a E."E!" give me a S."S!" OOOooohhh YES!

HAHAHAHAHA! boleh layan kan ni bacin! LOL!!! but for goodness sake 30 buckss sey. i can buy lotsa of things okay!

its okay la i think ur pay its meant for donation at your workplace nye kan!.

-_______-

OVERDUE PICTURES: on friday went to tampines mall and vista park & on sunday town and tanjong pagar.

2009-02-20T12:11:00.003+08:00

so i guess my boyf is one step ahead of me la ni. LOL! after work he will usually get his ass out to the gym. nice one b! while this fat girl of his will be at home sleeping. HAH! baaaagguuussss kan hidop. its friday and i have a movie date with the boy later. YAYNESS! the last time we catch a movie together was like 4 months ago la. since then we always have our last minute plan and for that we need to cancel our movie date. boring kan.

&& maybe will be watching this movie later. double yayness!

2009-02-19T09:42:00.002+08:00

i love him botak. <3's

i miss the girlss. my supergirlss.

2009-02-18T08:47:00.032+08:00

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful

Stop me and steal my breath

And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky

Never revealing their depth

Tell me that we belong together

Dress it up with the trappings of love

I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

PICTURES: SENTOSA on valentine!

actually there's more picturess to upload but i just pick out the random one okay.
please dont mind the ugly picturess and will upload the rest soon.

happy wednesday people!

this two bacen= CRAZY! you see la how they pose. and spot tinny winny little zaid. LOL!

BANYAK LA DIE PUNYE KECIK. HAHAHA!

i dont know them seriously. (boyf friendsss i think la.)

2009-02-17T09:58:00.007+08:00

pictures are still uploading. hehe. well, yesterday was hilariously crazy. boyf , u should know what i mean here. lol. supposedly, he has to apply full day leave yesterday, but he only managed to apply for half day. so,me and this bacen had to wait for him for 4 bloody hours at lot 1. it was a last minute thing though, when i was actually on my way to meet him, he called and said he only can leave at 1. i swear i was feeling CRANKY at that moment of time and wanted to screamed at him for being so late. he being sweet as always told me to come by his work place and take some cashhhhhh for my shopping spree. so yeah i spent his money on clothes and nice breakfast. hohoho! by 1 he fetched me at lot 1 and we went home for him to get changed. at home he decided to bring me to e hub. i was like okay! we had gelare waffle at e hub and i saw my gf. i miss her so much and thanx gf for the discount and free ice water. hah! it was raining at that point of time and boyf was freezing cold. so he told me "cepaaatttt b we go some where else." -_____-. after e hub we went to marina square. was suppose to get himself a wallet but he's too fussy la. tu tak boleh ni tak boleh plus i was damn tired by then till i drag my slipper while walking. pfft. and so we settled down at macdonald for a milkshake treat again from boyf. wee! i was home quite early yesterday because we both bacen were very tired/shagged. i washed up soon after i reached home and able to call boyf just to say goodnite and i fell asleep. lol lol lol!

and again will upload the picturess soon okay lovelies.

ps: the interview suckss!

2009-02-15T09:55:00.005+08:00

valentine...
so yeah we dont really celebrate it but yesterday i had fun!
i went sentosa with boyf, bestie, afiq and friendssss.
the plan was only the four of us but instead we bumped into some peopless
and joined them lol!
boyf being so sweet and place the poker card so nicely to our name. HAH!
by 6.30, we get changed and we went to arab street. yesterday arab street were damn packed and tats is the 1st time i feel so rimas and dont wish to chill there again on saturday. urgh! i took lotsa of pictures but i will upload by tonight or tomorrow okay. im still tired la. oh btw wish me luck for my upcoming interview tmrw yeah. love you people.

ps: saket jiwe eh?!

2009-02-13T15:26:00.002+08:00

sumpah aku tengah boring! boring! boring!

i have no work at all la!

that boyf tahu tidoooooooooooo jeeeeeeeeee!

malas nak layan!

uuuuuuuurrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!

2009-02-12T11:15:00.002+08:00

Why in the world am i soo moody these days? The boyf being soo goddamn temperamental isn't helping one bit. Grr. Then again, i have learn to tolerate his extremely sharp and very piercing shots of sarcasm whenever he's pissed about something. Bitch. Its why we're never acting civil towards one another and always at each others throat. Just the way i like it. I love our intellectual banter, him trying very hard to sound smart and suppressing laughter when i give a smart remark. It is the unconventionality of it all that seems to be the force of attraction. All said and done. i hate work!

ps: im scared. ur face with that voice.

2009-02-11T15:50:00.003+08:00

seriously im fucking in love with this friend of mine. her name is MIRA! (okay now i sound so lesbian k) watever la! but i do love her. you know i know kan mira. HAHA! thanx babe for everything! =)))))))

2009-02-10T09:03:00.003+08:00

"there's nothing you want to scare of

because im always here for you." *hugsss*

anyways, i always complain the boring-ness at work. due to the recession also my company had terminated three staffs including my manager. okay thats scary. i dont want to be the next person and be jobless. i hate to be jobless okay. hmm. since then i keep bugging boyf for a new job. i told him no matter what you need to help your kental princess here. HAH! so i guess after much complaining, i got a text msg from him early this morning, "baby, you will need to wear heels soon." i was like huh? then i give him a called. and yay! he got me a job. i mean not yet a job la. but an interview soon. 1st he remind me that i require to wear heels in this job. as he know that i hate to wear heels that much and i only wear heels during certain ocassionss. LOL! butbut... i dont mind sacrifice abit because the pay is much higher la. yooohoo! so peoples pray for me that i got the new job okay.

love you all!

2009-02-09T16:36:00.003+08:00

it is only when we truly know and understand that we have limited time on earth and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up that we will begin to love each day to the fullest, as if it only we had. i love everyone. but i want space. im happy. haha. only god knows. you cant change the circumstances, the seasons or the wind, but you can change yourself. that is something you can charge of.

2009-02-08T18:52:00.002+08:00

i try to understand but i cant.
i try to change but i cant.
i try to love your friends but i cant.
i try to trust you but i cant.
i try to give you space but i cant.
I TRY..... BUT I CANT.
i love you for who you are.
help? no im utterly hopeless.
if you hate reading my blog then dont bother to read anymore.

2009-02-08T16:07:00.003+08:00

yeah finally i get to change the skinss/background.
thanx to fet. love you like many many many la! hoho!
i still waiting for yesterday pictures from boyf.
he always take his own sweet time to send me those pictures.
so will have a proper update soon okay peoples.
mwah!

2009-02-06T20:41:00.002+08:00

MY COMP SUX BIGTIME OKAY!
i try to change the blogskins but it keeps lagging for no reason. damn la!
next time maybe.
i feel like my blog song now doesnt fit in well with my blogskin. hmm?

2009-02-06T13:01:00.002+08:00

As such, this morning i woke up at 7 and my sister was still in the bathroom. because of her im rushing to work! urgh. then within seconds i starts to whine and verging on screaming, i want them to give in okay. and soon after that mummy said that papa will pay for my cab fare. voila! Adults would probably do anything just so you shut the adorning gap on your face because the noise would probably summon a migraine. HAH! i love my parents.
i want to eat nice food again. boyf? hmm.
have a great weekend people!

2009-02-04T12:20:00.007+08:00

stomach cramps. urgh. how annoying is that?

boyf called earlier. and told me about his charged thingy at work.

1st to his captain, *middlefingerup*.

2nd, hey babe! you seeeeeeeeee. why i always nag at you sometimes when u're not at home to sleep b4 11pm during weekdayss. this what happen when you always berangan can wake up

but actually you DONT babe. heh.

i will say no more because u're big enough to think what is best for you okay.

&&& babe thanx for helping me with my work yesterday eventhough i know you were too tired/shagged after cleaning the house yesterday.*smile widely* lovelove.

ohoh and he will kill me if he knows that i called him "babe" in here too. lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.

ps: girlss reply my message by tonight okay! =)

2009-02-03T09:32:00.006+08:00

so yeah yesterday after work i met the girlss. since the 3 of us were sick we decided to meet at a nearer place. we met at jurong point. we hugged. LOL! i miss them alot! we had macdonalds for dinner and i did told them what i've been going thru lately. i mean the big emotional luggage that i've been lug around. and they give me some advice. thanx girlss. appreaciate that alot. i cant imagine my life without you girlss. ily! next will be our sentosa trip with boyf-boyf okay?

&&& boyf have been sacrifice his time for me since im not feeling quite good/well.

and sorry for all the incessant whinning okay boyf.

you know that ilysm kn kn kn!

FETDEEFEE

2009-02-02T16:08:00.002+08:00

i hope february will be better month for me.

had lunch with boyf just now.

and will be meeting the girlss later.

yes! i love monday minus the im-so-lazy-to-go-work part. LOL!

due to fever and the soar throat last week,

sorry for not been having a proper update.

actually i have lotss of things that i wanna update here

but im such a bummer la!

wait, i just realised that this is just a humble blog of mine.

so who gonna read it anyway kn?!

2009-02-01T20:46:00.001+08:00

things have been happening and i dont think that i can take it anymore.
will update soon peopless. =(

2009-01-29T13:11:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA!

ILY!

2009-01-28T13:25:00.006+08:00

goodie wednesday lovelies.=)

Undoubtedly the malacca trip was fun and obviously hilarious=) three day trip to malacca with a bunch of gerek auntiess. Nevertheless the traffic jam in Tuas, omg! that we spent much of our time in the car. Not that it was a bad thing or anything but we stuck in the jam for three bloody hours. but i slept throughout the waiting and all. HAH! By the time we prolly passed the immigration we could have travelled all the way to malacca already la. malacca was super hot okay. still i keep asking my dad to stop the car and get for me goreng pisang. it happens everytime we going out to eat or shopping. LOL! i just love the kerak2 okay. haha! okay im super lazy to elaborate more and i dont take much pictures during the trip,maaaalllllllaaaaasssss!

and below some pictures taken yesterday with boyf.

we just go out and have a great dinner.

thank you boyf!

2009-01-24T04:18:00.000+08:00

swollen eyes.
tired.
restless.
im off to msia.
LOL!

2009-01-23T20:28:00.002+08:00

.TRUST.
Anyone who goes through life trusting people without making sure they are worthy of trust is a fool. Yet there are people who may be trusted, men as well as women. There are are as many difference in their natures as there are flowers in these meadows.

i hope you read this and all i can say that im sorry. now you will know why im so worry about you. =(

mummy just knocked on my door just now. my short getaway to malacca will be later at 4.30 in the morning! urgh. i thot they will be going tmrw in the afternoon and i've make plans to meet boyf tmrw for breakfast but i guess i cant meet boyf before i go. IM SO GONNA MISS THAT BACIN LA!

2009-01-23T10:06:00.004+08:00

DEE: B.......... my skin! verrrryyyyy drrrryyy!

BOYF: drink plenty of water.

DEE: i think i need a new moisturizer la!

BOYF: u just need to drink lotss and lotss of plain water la!!!

*then smellss my armpit

-________-

*yes baby! peace everyone! LOL!

2009-01-21T19:48:00.006+08:00

i think im sensitive and maybe im being too over demanding. and i wont listen to others then only me,myself and i. i've been lug around my big emotional luggage this past few dayss. my mood swings have gone beyond, till boyf say that i need to stop all this. Like everything everyone do or say for that matter is somehow wrong. Right to the tinniest detail, in example their laughter. actually i dont realised it at all. i want to wake up with everything there,ready or even beside me. but i dunno why this few dayss i feel so bleak. even the sweetest thing that boyf did to me i will like "oh okay." or even i will tell him off sometimes. im trying to tell him or even everyone what actually i want or been going through but im not good by expressing the stupid bloody irratating feelings to wordssss.

okay now i feel helpless and utterly hopeless.

2009-01-20T12:49:00.003+08:00

BORING!

bestie offline, boyf sleepyhead, and can you imagine that i have no work at all! damn! boring working environment! kalau boleh tido tkpe juuuuuggggggaaaaaakkkkk, ni tak boleh! urgh. im so bloody restless okay! i want to do something productive. to find a new job in this kind of situation i dont think its a good idea. so i guess i need to bear with the boring-ness here at work. all of sudden im thinking of school. i hope mummy approves me of schooling again soon.

2009-01-20T11:11:00.003+08:00

my bestfriend ANTI- pocai LOL!

GET WELL SOON OKAY BESTIE. LY!

2009-01-19T19:42:00.003+08:00

just now i met boyf. we discussed on something important that makes me really hard to accept it. am not going to lay everything on the table to let you all see but i just feel like blogging what i am feeling right now. anyways, very big sacrifice that im gonna to make for this relationship. i mean our relationship. for me im not independent and i always rely on people especially my parents and boyf. I'm not complaining, its just that the thing that we just discussed, the sudden decision comes as a rude shock. i hope it will last for only one week and please boyf no more okay. im trying to learn to live with it. still, im upset with the whole issue thingy. *sigh

2009-01-19T11:43:00.008+08:00

since boyf is back i've been treating like big bloody baby okay! i will start to show my irratating face if i dont get what i want. and boyf will start to give in and attend to my needsss. HAH! i noe im a bitch. watever it is, this wat happen just now in the morning.

(its conversation thru text msg)

me: b, wed or thurs i want to go to sembawang shopping centre okay!

boyf: for what eh b?

me: i nak jln2 la b!!!

boyf: ok la baby. nanti kite pegi k b. ily!

you seeeeeee! he always be patient when it comes to me. even how cranky i can be and even how many exclaimation markss that i give him. HEEEEEE! thank you b. much appreaciated okay! see you later=).

this coming sat im going for a short getaway to malacca. me and nana planning not to tag along because malacca is soooooooooooo boring okay! but of cos the parents reasons were "tak best la kalau tkde budak due org ni!" you see how pathetic the reason can be kan. AND i've been asking my dad for new phone. and he promise me to get the new phone by end of this month. YAY! coolness! boyf told me not to get the same phone with him and try something different. so peoplesss what phone should i get? because i have no freaking idea what phone should i get okay! any recommendation please tag okay! thanx! lastly, enjoy ur beautiful monday peoples!

My weekend was just fab!

2009-01-17T21:56:00.009+08:00

i just came back from my cousin wedding.

congrats abg eje!

*pictures below and please dont mind the ugly red hair that i got there! LOL!
BABY!!! NEW HAIR COLOUR AGAIN PLEASEEEEE!

2009-01-17T10:18:00.006+08:00

happy 8 months today to us!
imverymuchloved<3>

2009-01-16T23:39:00.010+08:00

*pictures on 150109

so yeah i just pick out the random one. HEH! have a great weekend loveliess!

2009-01-16T09:09:00.004+08:00

holla=)
im late again. okay whats new right? haha!
yesterday went to mustafa center with boyf.
thought of buying a pair of watch but its only available in white.
had our dinner there too.
then, we decided to think of place that sell lotsa of watches.
and we cabbed down to city hall.
we drop by at this particular watch shop in city link.
browse around but still no available.
finally boyf decided to get himself calvin klein boxer.
they having some promotions going on. 2 for $59. cheap kn?
and we get ourself flip flops too. LOL!
we took some pictures yesterday, will upload later at night okay!
btw, today im on half day leave. weeeeeeeeeeeee!

HAPPY FRIDAY PEOPLE!

2009-01-15T10:12:00.004+08:00

15 Jan 2009 the date that baby Adam came out to this world but only to be returned to HIM. May baby Adam rest in peace. Aunty dian will always remember you and love you.

i hope everything gonna be fine tmrw. you promise me already okay baby?!

2009-01-14T16:22:00.002+08:00

baby ADAM
5 months and everyone been looking forward to see you.
but Allah lovess you more.
all i want YOU to know that we lovess you more than ever.
and you will always in our prayers.
have a safe delivery tmrw.
i love you.

2009-01-13T09:17:00.008+08:00

the "HOT" word. it just that i cant keep my tongue under control.

I've sat around silently for far too long.

In that time, i lost my ability to emote and cant even speak.

i feel like you still cant get over her.

now it will took me ages to get rid of the paralysing fear that i constantly feel. Im numb now.

Neither expressive nor emotive.

all i want you to know that im not her and

im much in love with you.=)

2009-01-11T17:43:00.002+08:00

SUNDAY! suppose to meet boyf today. but daddy drag me to his cousin son wedding. URGH! i just hate go to weddingss that im not close with or watsoever la. so yeah boyf biase la mengamok because it was so last minute. he will prefer if i tell him earlier. sorry bacin! and now i just reached home plus doing nothing. that boyf refuse to call me and so i decided to update this blog. at least i can occupy myself with something since that boyf refuse to call me. HAH! weekends going to over soon. LOL! and tmrw starts my busy-ness. ya right! i think i want to sleep. i woke up quite early just now so im totally shagged now. okay peopless! enjoy ur sunday evening! *mwah